CHALK TALK

FEEDBACK

Q: I think one of my teammates is gay... what should I do if they come out to me?

A: For some people the decision to come out is a difficult one. If your teammate decides to come out to you there is a good possibility they consider you trustworthy and good friend. Often people are nervous to come out for fear of rejection. If a teammate or friend does decide to come out to you, be yourself. It is likely your friend is looking for someone to talk to, or just wants you to be aware of this part of their life. If they do not come out to you, do not take it personally. The coming out process is very different for each individual. Who, how, why and when to come out varies from person to person.

Q: I hear anti-gay stuff being said in the locker room all the time. What can I do to get that to stop without everyone thinking I'm gay? A: *Prevention is always the best way to address name-calling or put-downs of any kind. Name-calling of any kind by anyone is unacceptable. You can set a powerful example by avoiding name-calling or put-downs. Being an ally does have its challenges and not everyone will adjust their language overnight. However, standing up to name-calling and inappropriate language is a start to raising awareness in the locker room and playing arena.

Q: I don't really have a problem with gay people on my team. But what about in the locker room?

A: *When players express concerns of this kind, they are usually based on stereotypes that depict lesbians and gay men as sexual predators. In actuality, lesbians and gay men in the locker room are focused on the same things that their heterosexual teammates are: the upcoming game, how or how much they will play, a paper due for a tough class, caring for an injury, or laughing and talking with teammates. Everyone's privacy should be respected in the locker room. No athlete should engage in any activity that invades the privacy of another regardless of sexual orientation. If anyone in the locker room engages in this kind of activity, this behavior should be addressed without regard to sexual orientation.

Q: How can athletes play on a team with LGBT people when their religion is against homosexuality?

A: *One of the strengths of democratic living is that tolerance of different religious perspectives is expected. As a result, each member of a team is entitled to her or his personal religious beliefs and should be protected from having others criticize or try to change them. Another strength and challenge of democratic living is working effectively with others even when members of the group do not share common personal beliefs. Learning to interact with teammates respectfully and productively, even when personal or religious values are not shared, is an important skill for all team members. Many schools have non-discrimination policies that require that everyone on a team be treated fairly regardless of sexual orientation or religion. In this case, working effectively across differences is not only a positive value for teams, it is a legal requirement.

Q: Why don't more LGBT athletes and coaches come out?

A: When LGBT athletes and coaches keep their identities a secret, it is usually because they fear being discriminated against or harassed. They also fear losing friends or being ostracized by their teammates or families. Sometimes LGBT athletes and coaches believe that coming out would distract attention from their athletic accomplishments and put them in the public spotlight for their sexuality rather than their own individual or their team's performance. As more schools, coaching associations, and other athletic governing organizations enact inclusive non-discrimination policies and sponsor educational programs for athletic staff and athletes, the climate in athletics will become safer for more LGBT athletes and coaches to identify themselves. This in turn will reduce discrimination and harassment as other athletes and coaches, as well as fans and the public learns to accept LGBT athletes and coaches as a part of the athletic arena.

*Adapted from It Takes a Team!: Frequently Asked Questions about LGBT People in Sport